I think for the first time, I’m actually nervous to write a blog post. I want to write about something that’s been playing on my mind lately. I’m not sure if I’m writing this as therapy for me or as advice for you, maybe a mix of the two?
I’ve always found it hard to make friends and especially to keep them. I understand very well now that people can’t always be there for you and will need to leave your life at some point. But sometimes that is hard to deal with and accept, and although I am very accepting of that now, there was a time a few years ago where I would have taken that very personally. The thing is, looking back it was all a blessing in disguise. Those people left because they weren’t good for me. I’m actually confident in saying that they were poison. Now, I don’t want to sound bitter because I’m not, but I understand that might sound harsh. However there is nothing wrong with finally accepting that people you once put up on a pedestal may have been the reason you felt so small next to them. There have been people in my life that I thought were the be-all-and-end-all, the best person I’ve ever met, the best friend I’ve ever had… but were they? Because they aren’t here now and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. Looking back, they were awful friends. Getting drunk with people every night and barely seeing them sober is not a friendship, it’s a dependancy – even a coping mechanism. So I cut them out. You have to.
So on to the present – I finally feel like I have real friends. Friends that support me, can have conversations with me on the same intellectual level as me, friends who I feel my true self around. And that is friendship. I really can’t put in to words how wonderful it feels too. And like I said before, at some point in my life they might leave and that’s okay. But for now I’m going to enjoy having friends that care about me and friends that give the same effort that I give them which ironically feels effortless to do with each other because it’s not forced. I feel that moving to Brighton was a massive part in all this. My friends here are incredible. Here, there are only new, good memories and we are making more each day. I hope if you’re reading this that you have friends like that too, they are super rare.
Jumpsuit and Boots both from Zara – both sold out
Photos by Stacey Louis White