The Ups and Downs

So, you may have noticed at the bottom of my last post that I told you how I wanted to write about more relatable topics. That starts today, I hope you enjoy the new style.

Lately, I’ve been feeling a bit funny. You know how it goes, sometimes you just don’t feel yourself and there sometimes isn’t even a reason. I’m very good at getting caught up in my thoughts and holding it all in, in fact holding it all in has been a special talent of mine for the last 6 or so years. However, the difference this time around is I’m living in a beautiful city, surrounded by friends that support me (despite what my naughty thoughts try to tell me) and I’m overall very happy with my life. So why then do I still get down? I’m sure I’m not the only person who asks themselves this question. Obviously there are triggers that set us off but I find they are normally quite small, so I wonder if its an accumulation of little things building up in to one big wall that I can’t get through. Also some big changes are coming over the next few months, they are exciting changes but changes none the less and they are scary.

When I get these horrid feelings I try and remember that they are just that, feelings and thoughts. Luckily these can be somewhat controlled by myself and I’m trying very hard to remember that although I may feel very down, there are so many positives in my life. This is something I’ve found very hard to do in the past which resulted in a down ward spiral. However, this time is different and I’ve learnt to stay aware of what is really happening. I have a habit of getting so in to my thoughts that I sometimes start to believe them but this time I’m really trying to tell myself that those thoughts are things I’ve come up with with no evidence of their truth, for example ‘everyone hates me’. I tell myself that but in truth thats not the case. Even when I just typed that last bit my mind thought ‘but what if it is and everyones reading this thinking actually we do hate you’. But it’s just a thought! I know I have friends that love me and care about me because they’ve said they do and they show me it everyday. They are just thoughts and in reality not true.

Here are somethings that have been super helpful recently:
Music – music has always been a healer for me. Whether it’s screaming out Enter Shikari or in the last 10 months or so more mellow RnB such as Frank Ocean, Kendrick Lamar, 6BLACK and Loyle Carner.
Podcasts – these have really opened my eyes to new topics of conversation and I’ve officially become obsessed. I love more than anything to learn and listen to other people talk passionately about things. My two new favourites since writing my last post (which featured a few other podcasts) are Russell Brand’s Under the Skin and Fearne Cotton’s Happy Place. These often talk about mental health topics such as depression, addiction, eating disorders and many more and have really helped open my mind and make me feel less alone.
Writing a blog – this blog has been a true life saver for me and it’s my baby. This post in particular has been very cathartic to write this morning and I’m starting to learn that talking about my feelings lessens them considerably.

Thanks so much for reading this post and I hoped it helped in any way! Please let me know if you like this new way of writing and of course fashion will always be at the heart of this blog but it feels good to write about more real subjects.

Lots of love, R x

Shop my look:
Jumper - old H&M
Jeans - sold out but similar linked

Photos by Stacey Louise White

Author: rayofstyle

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *